Lookin for Input

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Lookin for Input

Postby Kamah » Sun Jan 20, 2008 4:59 am

WARNING: Below contains references to sexual exploitation.
--If you do read, Please realize it is unfinished. I would love feedback of any kind or even ideas! PM me if you don't wish to post.
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She was left here alone. Her brown hair was matted with blood, mangled, and wet from rain. Her body lain in the ditch, clothes ripped and soaked. Her femininity was exposed to the cold, night air. Such a sweet face matched her body, disturbingly covered in bruises and small cuts. Her soft lips moved slowly, trembling almost, as she attempted to form words in an almost breathless whisper, “Never again… never again….” Her green eyes closed then winced slightly as she felt a sting in her shoulders, her abused body was being dragged across the forest ground. She’s given up fighting now, her head lolls to the side and she passes out.

She finds herself in a very familiar lobby. She looks around confused. “Wasn’t I just… here?” She turns around in a full circle. Everything is the same. The padded chairs, that feel like you’re sitting on a cloud, are on either side of a wide coffee table littered with different newspapers. The sun has not yet set and the light catches a wall-mirror on the other end of the lobby. She catches her reflection and pauses: the sleek, blue dress hugging her curves and the slit of light blue comes to her knee; matching wrap is weaved through her arms and behind her back; hair is up in a tight bun with small curls coming out the bottom; open-toe shoes showing her painstakingly detailed toe nails. The silver cuff on her upper arm glints in the light from the chandelier. That’s right, Blythe and Felix’s reception. The small of her back is touched softly and she turns, gazing up at a well dressed man.

“Why are you out here? The party is in the ballroom, Talania,” smiling softly he takes a few steps forward heading to the ballroom and looks back, offering his hand.

Talania smiles shyly and takes the sweet offer, her hand lightly landing on his. “Thank you, Devin.” Devin leads Talania forward until she’s beside him. His arm goes around her back and rests his hand on her shoulder, massaging it a little rough. Talania winces and looks up at him, fear suddenly striking her.

She looks around wildly, noticing her ability to move her arms has been taken away from the form on top of her. The tossed, mop of hair in front of her is confusing her vision. The room is dark and moon is shining through the slits of the blinds covering the windows. Pressure suddenly goes around her ankles and Talania struggles as she feels something bind them together. She squints her eyes to try to focus on the surroundings. Strong hands are holding her wrists… someone else must have bound her legs. Her heart begins racing… she doesn’t know these people. The brisk air of the room makes Talania fully aware of exposed parts. Her neckline has been ripped slightly to frame her jiggling breasts, the bottom of the dress has been hiked up around her waist and her delicate panties have been removed. The head of hair moves to her right tit and hot mouth taking in her hardened nipple. She cries and squirms beneath the body, the bonds on her ankles cutting into her.

“Her wrists,” the husky voice from above her commands the darkness. A second body is outlined in the dim light as it steps in. Her left wrist feels the same pressure that was just applied to her ankles. Talania screams, lungs aching from the force of her life-saving cry.

“Damn it! I knew this would happen,” in a strained whisper, coming from the figure in the darkness. “Devin, shut her up or Blythe will hear it!”

“Get the gag, moron,” Devin says softly, wedging his large forearm into Talania’s mouth temporarily. “Come on man.” Talania shakes her head violently trying to avoid anything else prohibiting her freedom. Devin’s head raises into the light, “Sweetheart… Felix needs a little something because his new wife won’t put out for just fun.” His face no longer the smooth shave she had seen earlier. His Cheshire cat grin throws red flags up everywhere. This isn’t just a little prank. They’ve though this all out.... He grabs her head, keeping her still, and holds her nostrils closed with his thumbs. “Get ready Felix, she needs air at some point right?” Felix is immediately beside the bed, gag in hand.

“Blyth-” Talania is cut off by Felix’s quick movement, the gag is shoved into her mouth and a wide strap cinches tight around her head. The gag is long enough to almost touch the back of her mouth and too hard to bite through, her tongue racing around it to try to discover exactly what it is. She finds the taste funny, almost like rubber.

Felix leans down and whispers into her ear, “It was Blythe’s idea….” Talania breaks into sobs, tears streaming down her face and soaking the pillow beneath her. Her cries and pleads are slightly muffled by the thick rubber gag.

“I told you to shut her up!” Devin says as he finishes the last touches on the tie going around her right wrist. “And while you’re at it, just flip her over so we don’t have to see her sobbing bitch face.” She’s suddenly hoisted into the air and dropped onto her hands and knees onto the bed. She tries crawling away, clawing the sheets, throwing pillows, anything to put distance between herself and the assailants. Her neck is yanked hard back in the direction she just came from, she’s attached to a leash like some animal.... She braces herself on the bed, trying to put up a fight against the tugging. Another yank, this time her balance is thrown off as her wrists go sailing forward. Devin has a hold of the ties around her wrists and is looping the rope around the headboard, spreading out her arms and forcing her on her stomach.
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Postby Egaladeist » Sun Jan 20, 2008 9:27 am

Did you write this yourself? Very good job if you did. Not my personal liking of subject matter, maybe because I have girls I find stories like this somewhat disturbing.
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Postby outerlimit » Sun Jan 20, 2008 6:03 pm

Good job Kamah!!

Here are some things I noticed:
The head of hair moves to her right tit and hot mouth taking in her hardened nipple.


The latter part of this sentence seems like its missing something... I feel like maybe it should be 'and his hot mouth ' or something...

This isn’t just a little prank. They’ve though this all out....

Seems that though should be thought.
14:35 < Maverick> I'm a gaywad
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Postby Kamah » Mon Jan 21, 2008 5:47 am

Eg- Yes, I wrote it. And I understand the subject matter isn't going to fit everyone's liking, but the story as a whole is not focused on the degradation women. Most of my writing comes from personal experience, many parts were hard to just type out because it's something I don't like looking back on. Vorlin helps me out a lot.

The story will eventually cover any and all fetishes (within reason) given to me by people who wish to read something played out. So far I have a fairly well sized list I must tackle, but I love to write so it's all for the best.

-Outerlimit, noted! Thanks so much I caught the second mistake just today while reading for someone. The first mistake, I've revised now. How's this sound?

"The head of hair moves to her right tit and his hot mouth envelopes her hardened nipple. "

I appreciate it! :)
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Postby outerlimit » Mon Jan 21, 2008 8:58 am

That sounds perfect
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Postby Egaladeist » Tue Jan 22, 2008 3:20 am

Pictures...needs pictures

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Postby Kamah » Tue Jan 22, 2008 3:30 am

Well, talk to Vorlin. :-P
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Postby DaFoxx » Tue Jan 22, 2008 2:16 pm

Kamah wrote:Well, talk to Vorlin. :-P



COOEEE Vorlin
are you awake yet me old mucker :P )
we NEED you and your camera NOW
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